Altruism

Altruism: A mature ego defense in which guilty feelings are alleviated by unsolicited generosity towards others. Example: Mafia boss makes large donation to charity.

I am a pen-thief. It all started when I was given a coveted Viagra pen while I was working in the ER. I showed the pen to my friend, G, who said, "That pen will be mine by the end of the night." Sure enough, by the end of the night, I couldn't find my pen anywhere. He stole it from me. This evil deed turned me into a pen-thief. I compusively stole drug pens--especially Viagra pens--any chance I got. I am in no way proud of this, and if you're out there reading this and I have stolen a pen from you, I apologize.


There is a group who is collecting pens at the AOA convention that I am attending this week. They are giving all of the donated pens to needy children in Africa so that they can use them to practice writing and doing homework. One pen, one person, one education. Touching. Tomorrow, I will be donating 129 pens, which I have stolen, relocated, or otherwise acqired over the years, to this cause. This donation includes some (though I admit, not all) of my Viagra pens, and pretty much all of my other pens excepting the ones that I actually use or the ones that have sentimental value.