Concerning Christmas

I know that in the past, I have spoken out strongly against Christmas--have said that I didn't like Christmas, etc. I think that this was caused by a lack of money for presents, which I concealed with a total disgust for the commercialism of the holiday. I think that also because I worked in the ER and only got a certain number of holidays off (and I always chose to have Thanksgiving off because it is, by far, my favorite holiday) I usually had to work on Christmas eve and Christmas, so I would tell myself it didn't matter because I didn't like Christmas anyway. Maybe too, I had lost "the spirit of Christmas." While trying to sort out what I believed about Jesus or God or religion or whatever, I think I rejected many of the things that I had always really loved about Christmas.

I think that being away from home is one of the things that has made me redefine the holiday for myself again. My favorite thing about Christmas now is that it gives me an opportunity to come home and see the people that I love. It gives me an extra reason to be thoughtful towards my friends and family, and to tell them I love them. That means a lot to me.
I think that being in a wonderful relationship with my husband has also softened me up a lot, and has helped me realize what is important--what is worth getting worked up about--and what isn't. I think having a new little niece and nephew has also brought back the spirit of Christmas into my life. There's something about having those children around that makes things magical for me again.

I've decorated this year with the few decorations I actually have--a red poinsettia, a peach poinsettia, a wreath that Mandi made for me a couple of years ago, a "Christmas is Love" pillow that my mom made me a few years ago, and a little rosemary "tree" with my three ornaments on it. I've also gone a little crazy on getting presents this year, because I had some extra loan money, which is almost as good as having my own real money. =)

I want all of you--my dear friends and family--to know that I love you, and that I really believe that Christmas is Love. Thank you for making this holiday magical for me, and I hope to see many of you while I'm home for the holiday.